Series 2 Pet Abuse
- Series 2 Episode 6
- 9 min
Abuse needs silence to thrive.
In this series, Simonne Butler, herself a survivor of a vicious attack by her ex-partner, meets those brave enough to break their silence.
With many refuges being unable to accommodate animals, a surprising 53% of abuse victims stay in violent relationships longer, out of fear that their animals will be harmed. Pets are much loved part of the family and Debb's ex-partner abused her pets as a means of controlling her.
DEBBS: My mum had paid for me to go up to Auckland to stay and take the children up to have a bit of break and my partner, ex-partner didn't want me to go but I knew that I couldn't tell my mum what was going on, so I had to go. When I got home the first thing I saw was one of my kittens was limping. He had broken legs, and one was missing and I asked where that cat was. And he said that he had thrown it out the window of the car and then driven over it to make sure that it was dead. So he let me know loud & clear he was not comfortable with the fact that I had dared go away.
NARRATOR: Dr. Michael Roguski, who studies social issues at Victoria University, has found shocking statistics around family harm and pet abuse.
DR MICHAEL ROGUSKI: I did some research of 203 people. Of those, 40% reported that their pet had been either injured or killed. So that's quite high. It's really interesting that so many people don't actually understand the link between animal cruelty and family violence. There can be threats like, "If you leave me I'm going to kill or harm the animal".
DEBBS: There had been a situation where he'd viciously beaten our dog and he was a wee puppy. Took him home and on the first night for some reason he pulled the bumper off the car. When we got up in the morning and saw that he went out and he picked the bumper up and he just smashed this dog's face. And he was really seriously injured, but I wasn't allowed to take him to the vet. This is still a trigger for me because I knew if I went and helped the dog I was going to get a hiding and so I had to make a decision between preserving myself or helping the dog. I still to this day battle with the fact that I actually chose to look after myself, rather than look after the dog.
NARRATOR: Debbs did eventually escape the relationship and for many years now has worked with refuges to help others. But as most refuges are not able to accommodate pets, it makes it very hard for women to leave.
SIMONNE: If there was somewhere that I could have gone safely and taken all of my pets, it might have been a consideration. Do you think that women not being able to take their animals with them to a refuge hinders them being able to leave?
DEBBS: Oh absolutely, without question. Even if you consider my experience, that was difficult enough but what I see commonly every week is women that are not leaving their relationships because there's nowhere for them to go with their animals. I think that message is starting to be heard a little bit more now.
NARRATOR: One of the places where that message is being heard is a pet friendly refuge called Te Whare Tiaki, managed by Caroline.
CAROLINE HEREWINI: Pets are part of their families. Truly a part of their families and it is difficult enough to leave your home, your community. It takes courage and bravery. In the first instance, just to recognise this doesn't feel right and then decide to leave. Leave everything that you value. Your community, your children's school. That is hard enough as it is, let alone trying to move your animals as well.
DR MICHAEL ROGUSKI: What Caroline is doing is really important because she keeps the family together, keeps them with their pet. This can be understood as really important because the children need permanency and their pet comes along with them.
NARRATOR: It also means the pets are kept safe from harm, but it does make running a refuge more difficult. The need for purpose-made shelters, pet food, and vet bills are just some of the extra costs that Caroline must somehow cover.
CAROLINE: We get now about 60% of our funding from the government but that's for refuge basic core business. We still have to find 40% amongst all the other NGOs and community agencies. As part of that, we do fundraisers, we do the sausage sizzle.
It's going really great. Had an awesome response. People have seen our flag, smelt the aroma of our onions cooking and have come up and done more than just buy sausages.
SIMONNE: And you get people that aren't even eating the sausages but they still want to give you money?
CAROLINE: Yes, we've had two vegetarians give us donations this morning and so it's more than just about the sausage. They see the flag, connect with the kaupapa, and just want to help.
NARRATOR: Talking to people often results in a referral. But demand completely outstrips their resources.
CAROLINE: We find it really, really difficult to say no or turn away those that are in dire straits, that are in need, that need somewhere safe.
NARRATOR: Caroline understands only too well how pets can be used to prevent women escaping an abusive relationship.
CAROLINE: Perpetrators use tactics of power and control and it's like the domino effect, but if it doesn't work on her and if it doesn't work on the children, then there's only the animal left.
DEBBS: He killed my cat. He broke another cat's legs and there was no consequence for that. He beat our dog and the fact that he had hurt my animal so that I wouldn't leave was a very clear message to me that you don't go away.
SIMONNE: You don't do anything.
DEBBS: That's exactly right. "I don't want you to go away. I've told you not to go away, you've gone away." These are the consequences. And of course I was too afraid to go away again.
NARRATOR: But pet abuse is not just about control. It can also be an alert that something more serious will follow.
DEBBS: I guess the important thing to realise is, if you have an argument with your partner and your partner kicks the dog, not to think that's the end of it. It's probably just the beginning and if anything you're going to see an escalation in the abuse that's perpetrated on that animal.
SIMONNE: And yourself.
DEBBS: Absolutely, they're alive.
SIMONNE: It's just getting worse.
DR MICHAEL ROGUSKI: Pet abuse should be seen as a very serious matter. It's a red flag that there is possible family violence occurring and we know this because of a number of family violence homicides in New Zealand, pet abuse was a feature.
NARRATOR: Leaving loved pets behind with a violent partner is a major obstacle and has encouraged the setup of alternative spaces that can look after pets until their owners are safe.
SIMONNE: So, where we're at at the moment, Saving Hope actually has a service where they take animals and look after them while the woman is going to refuge. Slowly I guess more places are coming. We need to get the word out more and then, goodness, if we could get government funding for all refuges and then add pets on to that.
DEBBS: Oh my goodness.
SIMONNE: Wouldn't that be amazing.
DEBBS: At one of our two refuges we've just built kennels so that we are able to take women and dogs into the refuge space.
SIMONNE: Really?
DEBBS: Which just filled our hearts to overflowing. I know that there are other organisations creating safe places for people's animals to go and we've got an agreement with the SPCA as well that they can take animals in there. They will take the animals, give them vet care and look after them and do everything they need while we help get mum safe.
NARRATOR: The use of pet abuse as a coercive control technique is found in nearly half of all violent relationships.
PG
CC
Description
With many refuges unable to accommodate animals, a surprising 53 percent of abuse victims stay in violent relationships longer out of fear their animals will be harmed.Pets are a much-loved part of the family but are all too often caught up in the cycle of violence
Up Next
Series 2
Episode 7
I Got Your Backpack
Last year, 53,000 women were referred to refuges in New Zealand.
For many, there was no time to pack and they just had the clothes on their backs.
Tam was one of those who found herself fleeing from an abusive relationship but upon arrival at a refuge, something changed her life.
For many, there was no time to pack and they just had the clothes on their backs.
Tam was one of those who found herself fleeing from an abusive relationship but upon arrival at a refuge, something changed her life.
Details & Info
PG
Parental Guidance Recommended for Younger Viewers.
CC