Series 2 I Got Your Backpack
- Series 2 Episode 7
- 10 min
Abuse need silence to thrive. In this series, Simonne Butler, herself the survivor of a vicious attack by her ex-partner meets those brave enough to break their silence.
Last year there were 53,000 women referred to refuges. For many, there is no time to pack and they have just the clothes on their backs.
Tam was one of those who found herself fleeing a relationship.
TAM: When I left, I left with my son. Uh, we had time to pack a bag each. You feel like you've lost everything, for the most part, you have lost everything and that also includes those small everyday items that you take for granted. Shampoo, toothbrush, a pen, paper, things that people use every single day. And you do not realise how important they are until you don't have them.
NARRATOR: On arrival at the refuge, Tam found a small backpack of vital supplies waiting for her.
TAM: I remember the feeling walking into that room and seeing that somebody has taken the time to send a message of hope, strength, empowerment, um, it just meant so much. It really did.
NARRATOR: The packs came from a shipping container set up where the charity 'I Got Your Backpack' is based. It was started by Anita who has also walked the path of domestic violence.
ANITA: I started about 6 years ago now, when I found myself in the care of a local woman's refuge, and it was just missing those basic items like, a toothbrush, and a story book for my daughter that I really craved in those immediate moments of trauma. I remember that point where I knew I didn't have a book, and I couldn't read to her and I was almost devastated as a mum not to be able to do that for her.
NARRATOR: After leaving the refuge, Anita began to put her life back together. She started the charity, which provides individual packs of basic needs to refuges all around the country. Each pack, also contains a personal message of encouragement. Anita had no idea how big the demand would be.
ANITA: Um, so, it was just the intention to give ten care packs to my local refuge, and then, ten packs kind of turned into 10,000 care packs.
SIMONNE: Wow. So going through it, you realise that there was a really big gap for the people coming into refuge?
ANITA: I can't be the only person in New Zealand that has left in the middle of the night with nothing.
TAM: Even as I was driving, I was crying and had no idea where I was going, or how I was even going to get through the rest of my day.
NARRATOR: Receiving one of the packs made all the difference.
TAM: It was exactly what I needed, when I needed it. It means so much to me that after all this time, I still have it. The bag, and the personalised note that was what it. It was handwritten, 'You are stronger than you think, you will get through this'. I reached out to 'I Got Your Backpack', the organisation in itself, on Facebook.
ANITA: She said, "It was the absolute worst time of my life but the feeling I got when I saw the bag on what became my bed more nights than I can care of, I simply cannot describe that's exactly what I needed at the time. I saw it and cried, and finally, it gave me hope in an odd way. I still have the bag, and the note that was attached".
ANITA: I think it was just really nice to hear that impact of the bags. Like, we will spend so much time and energy and you know, the team put in their own money to make this happen for people so, it was really nice for someone to reach out and let us know that the packs actually mean the world.
NARRATOR: Seeing how much need there was out there, Anita and her colleagues decided to embark on a new project, creating a house for women to transition out of refuge. A safe haven to rebuild lives.
SIMONNE: This is such an amazing space.
ANITA: Isn't it? It's so peaceful. It's almost magical.
SIMONNE: It is, It's so restorative. I um, I can't think of a better place to come and reclaim yourself. It feels so healing.
ANITA: I'm really proud of the team and what we've achieved to make this place a reality, because it's absolutely beautiful. There's been so much thought and so much care put into every single element of this house and the services that we will provide. Because we're really trying to look at it like a wraparound, holistic, trauma centre. What can we do? What can we offer? And actually really focus on breaking the cycle of domestic violence, and establishing them back into communities. Whether or not that's you know, them going back to uni, or helping them get back into the workforce, or kids back at school. So, we've really made it a home, and hopefully, they feel that way too.
SIMONNE: You don't have anyone here yet.
ANITA: No, we're about a couple of weeks off opening and having our first family come through the door.
SIMONNNE: Wow. Are you good to give me a tour now?
ANITA: Absolutely, let's go.
SIMONNE: Awesome, thank you.
Oh wow, that is so cool.
ANITA: So this is one of our bedrooms.
SIMONNE: Wow, it's amazing! Oh, and I love Ethique. That's so cool, oh shampoo and shaving bar! two in one!
ANITA: So, this is one of our care packs, that we actually have been giving to refuges in the last 6 years. It was more than fitting to actually supply them to our own safehouse, which has actually been a dream of mine for about 6 years so, good feeling putting this on the bed.
SIMONNE: You've also got the banks as well. So a mum that's got more than one kid can have them in with her.
ANITA: Yeah, absolutely. So, this is our store room, where the families that stay with us are welcome to come in, and help themselves to anything that they need. We will know the families coming in, before they actually come and stay with us. We're working really closely with refuges in the area, so we'll be more of a transitional house, as opposed to that immediate emergency care. So, we will meet them before they come in.
NARRATOR: All the clothing and supplies are donated by different businesses and people in the community.
ANITA: So, this is our therapy room. Want to come here and do counselling, is a room for all the service providers to be able to use. We'll also be doing massage therapy, reiki, and, this is basically our room for all of the people coming to volunteer their services to utilise and use. So, I'm really excited about this one.
NARRATOR: One of those volunteers is Tam, who now wants to give back and is starting her own charity.
TAM: Once I left refuge, I started studying makeup artistry and those sorts of things because, they're important. It gives you confidence. Every time they look in a mirror, they need that self-esteem back, that confidence, they need to see who they really are. So, the plan is to begin my new journey helping other women out of the safe haven that Anita is in the process of setting up.
NARRATOR: Another area that has special meaning for Anita, is the children's library.
SIMONNE: And so, why is having a children's library so important to you?
ANITA: It's nothing better than being able to pick up a book and, just escape into a different world, and have an adventure or, meet amazing characters.
SIMONNE: Do you enjoy reading to your child?
ANITA: I love reading to my daughter, and I remember, just before I started 'I Got Your Backpack', actually going through women's refuge, and I didn't have a book to read her and it was just the most devastating feeling, of not being enough, not being able to provide for her, not being able to look after her, and not feeling like you're a good enough mum.
SIMONNE: Dragons are really cool for kids. Oh, the pictures are neat!
ANITA: My daughter loves dragons. I've spent so many years reading to her every single night, and then to just have that broken and taken away from me, I actually ended up writing a book that I made up on a napkin. Five years later, it's now actually getting published so, I should have the hard copy in my hands really soon.
SIMONNE: That's so exciting, and are you going to put copies of those into all of the packs?
ANITA: Um, I would like to, but it depends on the team obviously. It's a collaboration between all of us so, depends on what they think of the book. It's not necessarily about the products, or the toothbrush. Yes, those things are needed in those times, but I think it represents to me, hope. That someone out there has your back, someone's supporting you, someone cares.
It's a really great feeling knowing you're providing a little bit of hope or, a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
PG
Description
Last year, 53,000 women were referred to refuges in New Zealand.For many, there was no time to pack and they just had the clothes on their backs.
Tam was one of those who found herself fleeing from an abusive relationship but upon arrival at a refuge, something changed her life.
Details & Info
PG
Parental Guidance Recommended for Younger Viewers.