What to do if you are in immediate danger
If your life is in danger, your safety is the most important thing. Call the Police or someone you trust to help keep you safe.
Dial 111 and ask for the Police Telling the person which language you speak using its English name will help them help you.
If it is not safe to speak, push 55. Listen to the instructions. Once connected, the person will ask yes or no questions and you will be asked to push keys on your phone to answer.
Call someone you trust to help keep you safe
Call the Are You OK Helpline on 0800 456 450 where trained professionals offer information and support, so you can choose what to do, including getting help in your area. This phone line has some access to interpreters.
What family violence might look/feel like
Family violence is not just physical. It also includes emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual and financial abuse.
It’s common for people in abusive relationships to think things like:
· “It doesn’t happen all the time, they still love me”
· “I feel like they’re playing mind games with me — I’m so confused”
· “This is normal when you’re married”
· “He is my husband so he is entitled”
· “I’m scared of what will happen if I leave” or
· “Maybe it’s my fault”.
You are not to blame — you don’t make someone hurt you, and you deserve to be and feel safe.
Laws around Family Violence in New Zealand
In New Zealand family violence is a crime and it is against the law for anyone to physically, verbally, sexually or psychologically abuse another person. This includes children experiencing or seeing or hearing these kinds of abuse.
This abuse can include a single act or a number of acts that form part of a pattern of behaviour (even if all or any of those acts, when viewed in isolation, may appear to be minor or trivial).
This violence may be coercive or controlling and/or cause the person cumulative harm.
Dowry-related violence is also a crime in New Zealand and includes violence that relates to what is given or received as part of a marriage or proposed marriage.
We understand this is a stressful and scary situation, but there is support around. Reach out for help or ask for more information.
Where to get help
Are You OK Helpline - 0800 456 450 24/7 access to trained professionals who offer information and support, so you can choose what to do, including getting help in your area. This phone line has some access to interpreters.
Women’s Refuge – 0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843) 24/7 help for women and children experiencing family violence, including advocacy and accommodation.
Shine – 0508 744 633 24/7 Confidential help for people experiencing family violence or abuse, or concerned about someone else, and people using abuse who want to make a change. They can also connect you with other support services if you need them.
Shakti – 0800 SHAKTI (0800 742 584) 24/7 multilingual helpline for women in crisis or in need of urgent information or for those who know someone experiencing family violence and needs help.