Leaving Sexual Abuse Behind
I was about five years old when my 13 year old half brother began to sexually abuse me and my older sister. I was nine and he had finished school and moved out of home before she was able to tell my parents what had been happening. He was arrested soon after and I went to trial where I sat in a tiny room and was accused of making up stories to try and get someone I loved in a lot of trouble.
Just because they hurt you, doesn't mean that you can stop loving them. My half-brother was my whole world and it wasn't until I was 20 when I was diagnosed with Complex-PTSD and realised that my whole personality and everything about my self had been built on top of the value my half brother had given me. Everything about me was based on the fact that I was subhuman. On top of that I was fighting the stigma that comes with not only being a rape victim, but one from a good middle class family.
Now I am trying to rebuild myself from the ground-up, so I can look in the mirror and be someone I can be proud of.
I was the eldest of three girls and from what I can remember we had a pretty good life in the early years of growing up. We had a small family, my mother had one sister and my father had two sisters....
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Growing up in my family wasn't easy. I was second youngest in a blended family. My mum loved her drink and drugs. My dad worked long hours to support us....
I've been thinking a lot lately about a life of abuse, and what has been the core factor in helping myself - and others I've spoken to - to lead a better life away from abuse....
I was living with my mother and two younger brothers. My dad passed away 10 years ago this year. I had grown up with abuse all my life but after my dad passed away it got very intense....
Ever since the age of 6-8 months I have been in Child Youth and Family care. I have had more than 20 placements and over 21 caregivers....
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