Leaving sexual abuse behind - 13 October 2011
I was about five years old when my 13 year old half brother began to sexually abuse me and my older sister. I was nine and he had finished school and moved out of home before she was able to tell my parents what had been happening. He was arrested soon after and I went to trial where I sat in a tiny room and was accused of making up stories to try and get someone I loved in a lot of trouble.
Just because they hurt you, doesn't mean that you can stop loving them. My half-brother was my whole world and it wasn't until I was 20 when I was diagnosed with Complex-PTSD and realised that my whole personality and everything about my self had been built on top of the value my half brother had given me. Everything about me was based on the fact that I was subhuman. On top of that I was fighting the stigma that comes with not only being a rape victim, but one from a good middle class family.
Now I am trying to rebuild myself from the ground-up, so I can look in the mirror and be someone I can be proud of.
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