Why did you use violence in your house to start off with?

Why did you use violence in your house to start off with?


To be absolutely honest I never saw it as 'violence', it was 'discipline', it was 'love'. I grew up in a generation and time where what is now called family violence was normal behaviour, not only at home but also in the public arena, like school. So what was regarded as discipline at home was reinforced in school and church: getting a hiding at home for all sorts of reasons, getting my ears pulled at kindergarten before I was 5 years old, getting strapped and getting my fingers whacked by the teacher with the blackboard pointer at primary school, from about 6 years old right up to standard 4, getting caned at High School, and getting hit with a stick at Life Boys and Boys Brigade.

All seemed normal.

When I had children of my own I though I had a better way of disciplining to the way that I was disciplined at home, so I would not use my feet or fist on my kids I used a shoe, spatula, wooden spoon or a dry hose.

Seemed logical to me at the time.

Wasn't until my wife confronted me and said that it was just the same, it was no different. And it wasn't until I went to an anger management course that I could accept it for what is was - FAMILY VIOLENCE.

I know the difference now!



← Back to Ask Vic