Q:

How do I get him out and keep him out?

Hi Vic, My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years and married for 3. We have to 2 children and another on the way. My children and I live with domestic violence every day, It’s not so much the physical violence but the psychological and it’s been going on for a while now. He always talks about being tough and likes to be seen as a 'tough guy' by everyone and has hit and intimidated other people because he could.

He's been arrested a few times because I've called the police on him and I've kicked him out countless times but he always ends up back home saying things will change. I've asked him to get help but he always has an excuse for why he hasn't done anything about getting help. He doesn’t seem to care about the way he’s treating me and the kids. I know him being around us while he is like this is wrong on so many levels, but I don’t know what else to do. I guess I’m just a weak person. He won't leave and threatens to give me a good hiding before that happens. How do you suggest I get him out and keep him out?


A:

HEY!!! That’s far too long to put up with that behaviour!

YOU ARE NOT A WEAK PERSON!

Let him be the tough guy on his own!

NOW YOU TOUGHEN UP GIRL!

You and the kids need to be in a safe place… Get up and ACT NOW! If he won’t listen to you when you ask him to get help and he doesn’t care about the way he treats the kids, there’s not much that you can about it UNTIL he can see that for himself. And he isn’t gonna see that he needs help while you’re still there to be the target of his violence.

Violence, no matter what form, ‘Is not OK’

I seriously want you, for your safety and the safety of your children, to ring 0800 456 450 or contact your nearest women’s refuge. There is help there for YOU. There are safe places to go or options for staying in your place and having your husband leave.

Us violent men are "FULL OF IT" until we get to an anger management group where we AS MEN are allowed to openly, honestly and safely let go of the pain and hurt that sits inside and get to UNCOVER, DISCOVER and RECOVER so that we can be REAL MEN!!!

This is what saved me!!!

I know that you still care about him!

HE needs to contact the 0800 number and/or a local men’s group and talk about his situation and check out HIS options. There are programmes there for your husband if he can be a ‘real tough guy’ and MAN UP and check them out.

Vic

 

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