Q:

How can I stop being angry to my wife?

Hi there Vic, how can I get help to stop being angry to my wife? I love my wife and I need to know how to stop being like this. I know it's not right and want to stop. Can you help?


A:

Hey my man, thank you for writing in. Shot my bro. I'll give you the best help I've got.

First up, let your wife know that you have made contact with me and that you have written to me on the website, asking for help.

This is not the solution to all your problems, this is letting her know that you recognise that you have a problem, you know that the problem is getting angry, you don't know how to fix it and you're asking for help to fix it.

This is about you taking responsibility.

Bro it really is alright to ask for help.

Things don't go right all the time. Things don't go the way that we expect or want it to all the time.
It's ok to get angry, when things don't go right as we want it to.

BUT we have to get the right knowledge, tools and skills to be free from being angry all the time and being violent and abusive.

Find some time so that you can sit down with her and let her know that this is what you are doing, that you have emailed me and that we will start on the journey of trying to make sure you are safe and free from violence and abuse cos you love her and don't want to do any of the violence no more.

OK. Now you need to ring our information line on 0800 456 450 and find the number for the local stopping violence programme in your area and see if you can join the next group.

It is at this group that you will meet other men that are going through some of the same that you are going through and help you to know where all your anger is coming from and why it is that you take it out on your wife.

This is the place to start my friend.

Please keep in touch.

Vic

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