Family Violence

Any behaviour that makes someone else feel controlled and fearful is never OK. Everyone in a family should feel safe and nurtured.

A healthy relationship is supportive, trusting and warm. But in some relationships one person uses power and fear to control the other. These relationships are emotionally abusive and can become extremely unsafe.

People in violent relationships feel frightened. They feel as though they cannot be themselves because their actions, thoughts and choices are determined by the person who is controlling them.

Violence at home makes children feel scared and alone. It can affect the way they behave and lead to problems at school or with their friends.

No one should be frightened or scared by someone in their family

If you are worried about your safety click here

The Law

In law family violence is know as domestic violence. In the Domestic Violence Act 1995 it is defined as

"violence against (a) person by any other person with whom that person is, or has been in a domestic relationship".

It defines domestic violence as more than physical abuse; it includes sexual or psychological abuse. Psychological or emotional abuse includes threats, intimidation, harassment or damage to property.

In addition, psychological abuse is committed against a child if that child witnesses the abuse of a person with whom the child has a domestic relationship.

A single act of violence or a number of acts that form part of a pattern can be regarded as domestic violence.

The Act covers people in many different relationships:

• married couples
• couples in civil unions
• de facto couples
• gay and lesbian couples
• children
• family/whanau
• anyone in a close personal relationship
• flatmates or other people who share accommodation.

To find out more about the law follow this link: Family Court of New Zealand, click on What the Family Court Does and then Domestic Violence.

Work and Income's Family Violence Intervention Programme provides support for clients who are affected by family violence.

Victims of family violence who are not New Zealand residents may be eligible for financial assistance from Work and Income. For more information please see the Special Needs Grant page, then follow the links: Qualifications --> Payments to people in specific circumstances --> Domestic Violence Programme. No matter what your age or sex, it's never OK if your partner or any member of your family:

Family violence - It's never OK

No matter what your age or sex, it's never OK if your partner or any member of your family uses violence to hurt or control you.

Violence can be physical, sexual or psychological. Survivors say psychological abuse attacks their spirit and self esteem and its effects last the longest.

Psychological violence to adults or children includes:

• Making you feel like everything you do is wrong
• Constantly criticising you or your friends
• Humiliating you in front of your friends
• Making you isolated and alone
• Blaming everything on you
• Threatening to take the children away or hurt them
• Stalking, following, checking up on you
• Making you feel scared of what might happen next.
  Sexual abuse includes:
• Forcing you to have sex or do other sexual acts you don't want to do
• Touching you in a way you don't want
• Frequently accusing you of sleeping with other people
• Forcing you to watch porn.

Physical abuse includes:

• Hitting, pushing, biting, choking or pulling your hair 
• Using unsafe driving to frighten you 
• Damaging property/walls/possessions to scare you 
• Making you drink or take drugs when you don't want to
• Harming pets to punish you
• Using or threatening to use weapons.

Family violence is a crime. You can report any family violence to Police, even after it has happened. Call 111 if someone is in danger.