22 May 2013
Me and my partner have been together nearly four years and have five kids between us including three under six. Lately he has been quite angry and smashes my things, gets in my face, bruises me, threatens to kill himself and threatens to take my son. If I try to talk to him he just says I'm winding him up. Any questions including asking for help with house duties, it always winds him up. I love him so much but I don't want to be like this anymore, it's making my bipolar worse, I'm never happy anymore. I don't feel like I could ever leave him, he really scares me sometimes, but I also really love him, sometimes I think I'm just making it up. What should I do? ... Read the answer
14 May 2013
Hi Vic, I have been with the father of two of my kids for five years now. About two months after we started dating, his grandparents were killed in a car accident by a texting driver.
I'm bringing that up because I think that's when it started.
When he's good he is amazing and such a good dad. But more often he's angry over such small things. He flips! When he gets real angry he yells at the kids (two years and six months). He's very intimidating with his voice.
When I cop it, which averages one to two times a week he gets real mad and calls me bitch and f**k up/off stupid and mutters a lot under his breath. But when he loses it about two times a month I have been called a slut, told to f**k off. When I say I'm going to leave the house to get away I get told if I leave he hopes I get raped, calls me a dog and he has also wished me dead to name a few.
Don't get me wrong - after five years I no longer just take it. I argue back. But never say such things he says to me!
I love him so much but I think he needs some help. He's just too stubborn to ask. The last five years have taken their toll and I'm now on Fluoxetine (Prozac) daily as I was so low from being run down all the time.
He has one to three Woodstocks daily and also smokes (green) which I've asked him to start by eliminating drink first to see if that is the trigger. But it still hasn't happened. Also, is weed addictive? He says it's not yet he needs it daily.
Please give me some advice on how to help him. Thank you. ... Read the answer
07 May 2013
My husband and I have today separated after a five year relationship. I had a difficult family environment to grow up in and so did he. I have snapped many times and flown at him in a blind rage, he says I "lose control" - and I know that my behaviour has hurt our son as this has happened in front of him, as has his anger toward me.
The other side of this is that he also is violent to me, and though I can't remember when it started, he calls me names like "psycho b***" and tells me that I am useless at everything I do, that he hates me and the sound of my voice and that I need help but never try to change.
I do seem to lose the plot when he calls me these names - I had a stepmother that would often talk to me that way and used to have panic attacks from it. Not long ago I called the police during an argument, where I backed him into a corner afraid of his leaving, and he snapped and put his hand on my throat and squeezed. He got out on bail and has been seeing a counsellor who he says is helping a lot but he still calls me the names and says he won't stop until I stop being what he calls me.
At the moment I have suggested that I go to live with my mum, who is now worried about me leaving my son with his father at home. I don't know what to do at the moment as I do love him and married him to spend my life with him. But he thinks the blame lies mostly on me.
Every time he leaves to get space in an argument he tells me that it's over for good and he's never coming back.
This breaking up with me in every argument has been going on for years also.
What should I do?... Read the answer