Ask Jude

Jude Halberg is a survivor of family violence who now works as a family violence prevention advocate for Presbyterian Support Northern.

Jude experienced abuse as a child from the age of 9 and subsequently became caught up in a cycle of domestic violence, substance abuse and crime. For 28 years she lived in violent and abusive relationships, was a member of both the Mongrel Mob and Highway 61 gangs and had four children to four different partners.

In her thirties Jude sought help and turned her life around. She is now a living example that change is possible and that people can break the cycle of violence.

She is committed to helping others to live free of violence.

Ask Jude a Question Archive of Questions

New Question:

Q:

Dear Jude. I have neighbours who fight at least once a day. Their bedroom is about three metres away from our bedroom and they constantly wake us with their fighting. I find it really traumatic as we have a young son who hears all of it. They also fight at night and it's often hard to put my son to bed. They have two sons, 1.5 years and two months old. The children cry when they fight. Sometimes the fight spills out into the street. I don't want to get involved with these people but I fear for the children. I told my husband the next time they fight, I'm calling the cops. I just want to know what I can do.

A:

Thank you for writing in and I hear your concerns which are very valid and real.

May I suggest that you do in fact call the Police. You don't have to give your name or details if you don't want to but until this is brought out into the open no supports or help can be put in place to help this family.

What happens when Police are called out to a domestic is they write a report on the incident and within a week they then meet with a group of community agencies who work in social services helping with situations exactly like the one you have described, and they then decide who is best suited to help this particular family. They will then visit them, have a chat and look at what can be done to help.

I know it can be hard to make these phone calls but the reality is until we all start speaking up and speaking out people are getting hurt and in some incidents women and children are being killed and we don't want that to happen. The situation you have described is not good for you and your son and definitely not good for the children next door.

We know that children are affected by family violence - even if they are only witnessing it - so there is an urgency to get help to this family as quickly as possible. You have said you don't want to get involved with them but maybe if you do see her out and about with the children you could give her a smile. We don't know the story behind these people, what their background and history is so we don't want to judge them but it's always good to keep in mind if possible that not everyone has lives that are good and safe and loving and nurturing so giving a smile isn't getting involved but it is giving a little something that may help.

I wish you all the very best and I hope things change very soon.

Jude.